Vaudevillian Johnny

Johnny isn't a great stage actor.

This fact is not a result of his inability to assume feelings, emotions, characteristics or even realities that are not his own. Johnny doesn't suck at acting because he cant pretend, or because he can't put heart and soul into being something else. Johnny also doesn't suck at acting because he is unable to fully utilize props or assign degrees of emotional worth to them...none of these are reasons why Johnny is a terrible stage actor.

No, Johnny is a terrible stage actor because he is a pebble. Anybody who knows anything about pebbles knows that they, by virtue of being smooth lumps of rock, are absolutely unable to act...especially when put on stage.

Johnny's Moral Dilemma

Our Johnny has never been a particularly sociable sort of character. He’s only ever been surrounded by stoner-types, and, to be frank, he’s just not into that kind of behaviour.

It’s not often that a pebble is confronted with a moral dilemma such as choosing between a life of eternal solitude or compromising on one’s principles. However, it seems that our protagonist is really stuck between a rock and a hard place with this one.

No, really. Johnny recently found himself wedged between a boulder and a slab of cement.

Johnny's Friends

Johnny the pebble's life is rather stable. He's never had massive fallings out with his friends, never cheated on his partner and he has especially never dropped and broken a water purifier.

It's not that Johnny is particularly grateful for this reliability. It's also not at all unusual for him to have such a predictable life. He is, after all, just a pebble, and pebbles usually don't have altogether exciting lives...and they hardly ever handle water purifiers.

Johnny's first post

Johnny the pebble is a highly depressed little being. He feels sluggardly, as if he is completely unable to do anything, as if he were a mere oceanic stone being tossed by the tides of the world.

He feels this way, mainly, because that is how things really are. Johnny really is just a pebble in an ocean.